Juiced? Roger that

So. Did ya catch the Mitchell Report yesterday?

If you didn't or don't know what it is, perhaps it's time you crawl out from that rock you've been living under.

The Mitchell Report was the culmination of months of work by former U.S. Senator George Mitchell and his team of investigators into baseball's steroid culture over the past 20 years. It fingered 86 current and former players in the report, most prominently Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds, Andy Pettitte and Miguel Tejada. Oh yeah, and 20 current and former Yankees. (I told you it was the Evil Empire.) No mention of any current Twins though.

Personally, I'm shocked. Roger Clemens used steroids? I don't believe it! Bonds? That size 8 ½ melon's gotta be all natural.

I really doubt the report even uncovered the tip of the iceberg of how deeply-ingrained the steroid culture has been in the sport. Hopefully, this will spark positive change – rigorous testing program that will eliminate the cheaters from the sport and level the playing field for the honest.

Ethically, the whole mess stinks to high heaven. The dirty laundry has now been aired. Now it's time for change in a positive direction. And Roger, you can deny all you want. Frankly, I don't believe a word you say.

And I'm with Jose Canseco when I say: I can't believe A-Rod wasn't on the list.

Nisky’s new ride

I almost forgot. Happy birthday to Mountain Iron's own Matt Niskanen, who last week celebrated his 21^st birthday. He got quite the surprise when he got home from the Stars' recent six-game road trip. His teammates took his old Pontiac Sunfire, which he's been driving since he was a sophomore in high school, and tricked it out, slapping on some sweet rims, putting in a suede leather interior and giving it a sweet paint job – his nickname Nisky appears on the back of it and his No. 5 on both doors along with some other decals.

Check out this story and accompanying video on the Dallas Stars' web site. The video is an interview with Niskanen after the first period of Dallas' 5-4 win over Edmonton last night, a period in which Nisky scored his second goal of the season on a blistering slap shot from the blue line.

Keep making us proud, Nisky.

Bradyisms and other (half-)truths

"Well done is always better than well said."

And you wonder why I have a man-crush on Tom Brady. Not only is the man: on pace to break every conceivable season passing record under the sun at the helm of the best team I've ever seen, the undefeated New England Patriots; dating a supermodel; dating Randy Moss (OK, maybe not dating, just a very intimate relationship); now he's quoting Ben Franklin (see above quote). That quote came after young Pittsburgh safety Anthony Smith brashly guaranteed a Steelers' victory over the Patriots prior to their clash Sunday at Foxboro. Brady's line Sunday was such: 399 yards, four TDs, 0 INTs, three toastings of the aforementioned Smith in an easy 34-13 thrashing that improved New England's record to 13-0.

Brady is so good and making it look so easy that one writer on ESPN.com asked readers to come up with Bradyisms. (Example: Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.)

Here's my favorite reader submission:

• Superman wears Tom Brady pajamas.
  

Other good ones include:

• Tom Brady doesn't pursue perfection. Perfection pursues Tom Brady.
  
• Tom Brady beats paper, rock AND scissors.
  
• Tom Brady does not wait 20 minutes after eating to go swimming.
  
• Tom Brady counted to infinity. Twice.
  

Here are a few of my own:

• Chuck Norris fears no man. Except Tom Brady.
  
• Tom Brady blinks just to fit in.
  
• Tom Brady can win a game of Connect Four. In three moves.
  
• The Boogeyman checks his closet for Tom Brady before going to sleep at night.
  
• Tom Brady is so cool, ice checks in with him regularly for advice.
  

OK. Enough of that. Do you think anyone else this season will be stupid enough to guarantee a win against the Patriots. Hmmm. I wouldn't recommend it. Because Tom Brady doesn't breathe. He takes air hostage.

Better late than never

After the Vikings' 34-0 embarrassment at Lambeau Field a month ago, even I, the quintessential eternal optimist, wrote them off. (OK, OK. I had ulterior motives. I wanted them to finish horribly because I can't stand Brad Childress. I wanted him fired.)

It is as if someone is pulling off my fingernails one by one, but I'll very grudgingly acquiesce to Childress some credit. He believed in Tavaris Jackson, and T-Jack has looked like an extremely competent quarterback the past four weeks. (In fact, T-Jack is 7-2 as a starter this season. The Vikings are 0-4 when he does not start.) Now I believed T-Jack would be a solid NFL QB, too. Just not this soon. But four games does not a season make. It remains to be seen how Jackson will perform in the playoffs (either at Tampa or Seattle).

And yes, the Vikings will make the playoffs. If you would have told me a month ago that Adrian Peterson would rush for two yards on 14 carries against the 49ers, and the Vikings would still win by 20 points, I probably would have had you committed to the loony bin. But a new aggressive approach on defense, a solidified offensive line and the play of Jackson as the triggerman have turned the Vikings into a well-rounded team.

Even a scary team, if you will. AD gives them that dimension, that six-points-in-a-blink-of-an-eye capability. As, to a lesser extent, do Sidney Rice and Chester Taylor. And their remaining schedule appears pretty tame: hosting reeling Chicago and shorthanded Washington and traveling to play a likely out-of-the-playoff-picture Denver team in the season finale.

Sports Illustrated's Peter King is convinced that the Vikings pose a legitimate threat to even Dallas' and Green Bay's quest for the NFC crown and has the Vikings ranked No. 7 in his weekly power rankings.

Not to get too overboard, but the Vikings are well-suited for a playoff run. They have a two-headed, dominating running game that includes the most explosive back in the game, an overpowering offensive line, a confident young quarterback playing mistake-free football and an aggressive, run-stopping, ball-hawking defense.

Don't look now, but the Purple are coming.

Random thoughts

I already like new Twins' GM Bill Smith. He refused to cave in to pressure from Hank Steinbrenner and the New York Yankees to pull the trigger on the Johan Santana deal. He pulled off a great deal to get Delmon Young, a very young, potential MVP-caliber outfielder with some pop in his bat. And I have no doubt he will get maximum value for Santana when he finally makes a deal.

Perhaps Wild goaltender Niklas Backstrom is human after all. He and the Wild have struggled after that blistering start to the season.

Tubby Smith has the Gophers off to a great start. They're hustling for 40 minutes, playing great team basketball on both offense and defense and are as good off the bench as starting. Hustle. Defense. Team ball. Words you rarely if ever heard during the Dan Monson era. And Blake Hoffarber is my new favorite player in town. Remember this unbelievable, ESPY-winning shot he made in the Class 4A championship game two years ago?

The Timberwolves have a solid young nucleus of developing players. That the development might not make much of a difference in the win column for two-three more years is another story. Even Marko Jaric is having a renaissance. Then again, maybe that's just because he's dating supermodel Adriana Lima.

George Mitchell's steroid report is due out tomorrow afternoon. How many of your favorite players will turn up tainted?

Mike Vick got 23 months in prison for his role in that dogfighting ring. Word is, he could have gotten just 12-to-18 months if he had taken responsibility for his actions. I DON'T wanna be like Mike.

Memo: Kevin Garnett and the Celtics are good. REALLY good.

I've been trying to avoid this subject because it always makes me giggle incessantly for about 10 minutes and then people look at me as if I'm strange. (No comments from the peanut gallery!) Do you realize the Patriots…(guffaw)…traded a…(giggle)…fourth…(hehehe)…round…(hahahahaha)…pick…(gasp)…for…(hohohohoho)…Ran…(gasp)…dy…(hahahahahahahahahaha)…Moss?....(hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe…gasp…gasp…gasp.)

Whew. I was laughing so hard, I think I popped a screw in my hip loose. And my mascara is running. Waaait a minute. I don't wear mascara…

Until next time…

 

Tragic tale of wasted youth

What a waste

Sean Taylor died this morning.

Who was Sean Taylor, you ask? He was an extremely-talented, hard-hitting free safety for the Washington Redskins. He made the Pro Bowl last season. He became a father for the first time this past year.

Now, a life so full of promise has been extinguished. Taylor was only 24.

He was shot in the upper leg during what appears to be a botched robbery attempt at his south Florida home. The femoral artery was severed and Taylor lost a lot of blood, although he appeared to be improving yesterday evening. But he never regained consciousness.

Taylor had been in and out of legal trouble and was fined several times by the NFL since his time at the University of Miami, but seemed to be maturing following the birth of his daughter, Jackie.

So much talent unfulfilled. A 1-year-old daughter left behind. Just 24 short years into his life. Another tragic tale of wasted youth.

Makes you stop to think. What am I doing with my life? Am I ready if it's my time to go?

Torii, KG and Moss (Coming to grips with their loss)

OK. It's been ages since I last posted here. Extenuating circumstances (moving back into my house, re-prioritizing my life, etc…) aside, it's been way too long. So let's just jump right in while the water's wet.

Reality bites, but maybe I'm coming to grips with it

In the past three or so years:

1. Randy Moss was traded (for next to nothing) to the Oakland Raiders.
   
2. Kevin Garnett was traded (for a pu-pu platter) to the Boston Celtics.
   
3. Torii Hunter signed with the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.
   

Having spent 30 of my nearly 31 years in Minnesota, rooting for Minnesota teams, this has been heartbreaking to watch. We're talking about the three favorite athletes of my adult existence. Moss (30) – who was born two months after and 30 miles up the road from me in West Virginia – and Garnett (30) were fellow Class of '95ers, while Hunter (32) broke into the league shortly after I finished high school.

I feel a close connection with them, not only because they came into their own around the same time I did, but also because they are such dynamic athletes/personalities. They were easily the three most popular Minnesota athletes of the past decade. Garnett was the most popular Timberwolf of all time. Ergo, he WAS the Timberwolves. It's nearly impossible to think of them without thinking of KG. Moss filled the Metrodome to capacity every game he played there, and despite his controversial personality, was adored by Vikings' fans everywhere. And Hunter was the most personable of them all, a perfect successor to the much-beloved, late Kirby Puckett.

And now they are all gone. Poof!

Sigh. (Give me a moment.)

Here is what I have come to grips with.

That no matter how much I hate to see them go and how much I still love 'em, it is for the best. Maybe not for me as a fan, but it is for them.

Moss languished two years in Oakland before moving on to become one of the two most integral parts of the Patriots, the greatest NFL team I've ever seen and maybe the best ever, in their quest for perfection. Moss is having his best season ever (and that's saying something) on an 11-0 team.

Garnett fell into the perfect storm in Boston with two other stars in their prime, Ray Allen and Paul Pierce, who are almost as hungry as he is to win an NBA title. Garnett has his best supporting cast ever and his best chance to reach (and win) the NBA Finals on the 11-1 Celtics.

Hunter was offered twice the money and the security of two more years to play baseball in sunny Anaheim on a contending team in a large market where his infectious smile and joy for the game will be embraced. He will also play on knee-saving grass instead of taking half the money to play in the unforgiving Metrodome on a team with an owner unwilling to pay to upgrade the talent in order to become a contender, despite the fact that a brand-new, taxpayer-bought ballpark opens in 2010.

Moss is happy. Garnett is happy. Hunter is happy.

I'm happy. Both for them and with them.

The reality is. I'm a Minnesotan. And no matter how many times I'm stabbed in the back by them, no matter if the owner is a penny-pincher (Twins), if the front office is incompetent (Timberwolves) or if I despise the head coach (Vikings), no matter what happens, they are still MY teams. If there is anything for which Minnesota pro sports fans are known for, it is for being fickle. Bandwagon jumpers. There's something to be said for loyalty, sticking with someone through the thick and the thin. That's something I've learned, especially in the past year, in my personal life. And truth be told, I bleed Minnesota, and I always will, no matter where I end up.

That being said, I'm now a huge fan of the Patriots. And the Celtics. (Who woulda thunk?) And I'm gonna love the Angels.

It's not about divided loyalties. It's about stayed loyalties in your teams and the athletes that have meant so much to you.

So Godspeed Randy, Kevin and Torii. The reality might suck, but I've come to grips with losing you.

More on Torii

There have been a lot of fans who have lashed out at the Twins (rightfully so) for not making much of an effort to resign Hunter. There have also been a lot of fans who have lashed out at Torii (wrongfully so, for taking the money and running), lamenting the lack of loyalty by players in today's era of free agency.

Puh-lease. Look at it this way. In your job, where overall morale is slipping, you are making $50,000/year and your boss keeps letting go of competent and excellent coworkers whom you've worked with for years and replacing them with wet-behind-the-ears college students. Another CEO out there swoops in and offers you $80,000/year plus job security for an upwardly-mobile group. Sure, you'll have to uproot your family and move across the country, but I'm pretty sure you'd do it, wouldn't you.

I'm going to miss Torii's ever-present smile, his passion for the game, his headlong dives into walls and onto hard-as-rock carpets and his wicked, no-holds-barred swing.

He's going to be impossible to replace.

More on KG

Five games into his Celtics' career, Garnett had already moved past all the great all-time Celtics and into a tie for first place with Larry Bird as his favorite Boston player ever for one lifetime Celtics' fan.

The passion, the intensity, the will to win, the drive to make everyone around him better are written in indelible ink in Garnett's game. His new team is feeding off of that.

Da Kid, I mean, Da Man, deserves a championship.

More on The Freak

Last week, one of my favorite columnists, Foxsports.com's Jason Whitlock eloquently stated his case (http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/7472596) for Moss to be the NFL's MVP this season. As if I wasn't predisposed to think that already, it convinced me even more after reading it.

Even after Moss was limited to five catches for 43 yards in Sunday night's near-loss to the Eagles – it should have been six for 47 and a TD; that push-off call was a joke – I still agree. Philadelphia had to pay so much attention to Moss that it opened up the field for Wes Welker and company to do the heavy lifting in the win.

Brady's been unbelievable and will no doubt win the MVP this season. But it is the addition of Moss that has made the 2007 Patriots unstoppable and the stuff of legends.

Random thoughts

Anyone else notice that Matt Niskanen has been playing the second-most minutes per night for the Dallas Stars for the past couple of weeks? He's also become a huge part of the power play and penalty kill units. Sunday, he spent much of the game against the Rangers going head-to-head against Jaromir Jagr. Looks like the 20-year-old is here to stay. And by here, I mean the NHL. Atta boy, Niski.

At the beginning of the season, I predicted West Virginia would beat Ohio State in the national (college football) championship game. After the Mountaineers lost early and the Buckeyes late this season, I thought it wasn't meant to be. But here we are with a week to go and it very well could happen. No. 2 West Virginia will be in for sure if it beats Pittsburgh in the 100^th annual Backyard Brawl, and No. 3 Ohio State will slip in the backdoor if Oklahoma dispatches No. 1 Missouri in the Big 12 title game Saturday. Just goes to show you in this topsy-turvy season, even a blind squirrel can find a nut sometimes.

How about them Vikings? After embarrassing Eli Manning and the Giants 41-17 Sunday, the 5-6 Vikes can take control of the race for the final NFC wild card spot with a win over 6-5 Detroit at the Metrodome next Sunday. And with Adrian Peterson coming back, the odds are in their favor. The rest of the schedule is filled with chumps, and I don't think even Chilly (Vikings' coach Brad Childress) can screw this up. Then again, what do I know? I sat the three-TD-scoring Purple defense for the first time this season in one of my fantasy leagues. Doh!

The winter sports season is under way locally. Looking forward to frequenting our local gyms and arenas and covering some games again. It's been a long time coming. Like this blog post.

Until next time…

 

Oh, the memories go Pop

Up in smoke

Sad day after the bad fire last night on the 100 block of Chestnut St. Thankfully, no one was hurt in the blaze, set by some idiot who was upset with his girlfriend. And thankfully, he got caught. My heart goes out to the many who were displaced from their homes and their jobs by the fire that wrecked almost half a city block. I feel bad for Jeff Peterson or Popper as most people know him as. He's the best, most generous bar owner in town and has been a very good friend to me since I started hanging out there as a punk kid. (Some of you might still think I'm a punk kid, but that's an argument for another day.)

It hit home hard for me. Popper's Bar, which suffered severe smoke and water damage, was my home away from home, a place I could go and (almost) always feel welcome. For the past 10 years, I have hung out there and made many friends, played and help run the annual fantasy football league and even worked there for a spell prior to my accident earlier this year.

It was at Popper's that I met my beautiful wife Candice for the second time. We had dated briefly back when she was 18 and I was 20 and (my bad) went in different directions. (She carried rocks around in her car to throw at me after that and always said if she saw me, running me down would be so worth the dent.) It was almost eight years ago that I bumped into her again. I remember I was a little embarrassed because I was looking kind of scrubby, wearing some baggy orange cargo pants and a white t-shirt. She was wearing a cute little red jacket and carrying balloons, signifying a 21^st birthday celebration. Naturally, I thought it was her birthday and went up and said hi and congrats to which she retorted, "It's not my birthday." Nevertheless, within a couple of months, we were an item and two-and-a-half years later, we were married (the happiest day of my life). We celebrated for a while that day at Popper's where Jeff brought us up a complimentary bottle of champagne. I also threw Candice a surprise 26^th birthday party at Popper's. You should have seen her face when she walked in the door and saw banners and 50-some people waiting for her. She almost fell over. She had no clue. She said it was her best birthday ever.

Those are just a few of the special memories that I have of the place. Others include the myriad nights throwing league darts, just chilling with some of the coolest bartenders around over the years and the blurry night of my 30^th birthday party. I met some of my closest friends there – Super Dave, Michelle, Billy, Garret, Jen, Bone, and of course Popper, amongst others – and had some of the best conversations ever there.

I'm sure it'll reopen in time, better than ever, but it just won't be the same. But my memories there will last a lifetime.

Basketball Miller

My little brother Mike, fresh off an outstanding senior season playing soccer at Calvary College in Kansas City, MO, decided to join the basketball team this year. While he's never had my outside touch, the kid is a whirling dervish of a scoring machine in the paint. The depleted Warriors might have a rough season, but I'm sure he'll enjoy the ride. I only wish I could join him. And a quick note, it was great to see my brothers Tim (up from Minneapolis) and Jon (up from the state of Wyoming) last weekend. Although, I had to give both of them bowling lessons, which for them had to be pretty scary. I miss my three little brothers, but not nearly as much as I miss my wife.

Until next time…

The “Wow” factor

Wow wow wow wow wow.

That was the text message I received from my friend Billy at 2:59 p.m. Sunday about 10 seconds after AD (for those now in the know, that's Adrian "All Day" Peterson) broke off that gorgeous 46-yard run done the right sideline for his third touchdown of the game at the Metrodome.

I guess that about sums it up. Wow!

The Vikings rookie running back was so good against the San Diego Chargers Sunday, I'm prefacing what was maybe the biggest regular season game in NFL history with him. That alone says a bunch that he is going above Moss and the Patriots.

AD has been simply spectacular. I'm still having trouble with my jaw as much as it dropped Sunday. Two-hundred-ninety-six yards? Are you kidding me? THE NFL single-game record in his eighth game in the league? Are you flippin' kidding me? Nine-point-nine yards per carry against the Bolts and 6.6 per for the season? Are you freakin' kidding me?

AD has 1,036 yards at the midway point of the season. That projects to 2,072 yards over a full season. The record was set by Eric Dickerson (the back to whom he is most often compared) in 1984 with 2,105 yards. Now remember, AD is splitting time with Chester Taylor and was just named the Vikings starter THIS WEEK. Remember, there were two games this season in which he carried the ball just 12 times. For starters, Dickerson's rookie record of 1,800-some odd yards is toast. And if Bad (or Bald) Brad keeps his head out of someplace the rest of the season and feeds Adrian the ball 25-30 times a game (AD carried 30 times yesterday), that season record's gonna go, too.

His veteran teammate Darren Sharper said yesterday that forget 300 yards, AD could one day bust loose for 500 yards in a game. And he was being serious.

That's what kind of talent this kid has. Is drafting him going to let me forgive the Vikings for trading away Randy Moss for two cents on the dollar? NO. (Can you imagine both of them – the two biggest playmakers in the league – on this team together? I have goosebumps just thinking about it.)

I just hope he can stay healthy, because he is going to be an NFL legend before he's done. (And Jason Whitlock is going to have to add him to his list soon…more on that below.)

Super Bowl XL ½

The Patriots were down 20-10 with eight minutes to play against the defending Super Bowl champion Colts yesterday in that rightfully over-hyped battle of unbeatens.

Did they panic? No. Who did they turn to? I'll give you three guesses, and the first two don't count.

Of course it was Randy Moss. Six straight plays Tom Brady went to the receiver with the big one being a 55-yard momentum-reversing bomb that set up a short TD pass to Wes Welker. That wasn't his best catch though. That was the one-hander he made a quarter earlier, snatching the ball out of the sky with ridiculous ease. I'll bet Moss has three times as many career one-handed catches as the next closest guy in NFL history. (C'mon Elias. You need to start tracking that!) Moss drew double teams on the game-winning drive, opening up a long pass to Donta Stallworth and the go-ahead TD toss to Kevin Faulk. And his presence also opened up Welker for the game-sealing first down catch in the final minutes. Moss finished with 145 yards on nine catches and was a big reason the Patriots stayed unbeaten on a day in which they set a franchise record in penalty yardage (some pretty sketchy calls in there, I might add) and a game in which Brady looked merely mortal, doubling his interception total for the season.

Foxsports.com columnist Jason Whitlock wrote last weekend that Moss is the most powerful force in the NFL since Jim Brown. Powerful words, but I concur. Here's his explanation:

Let me elaborate on my point about Randy Moss being the most powerful football force since Jim Brown.

In the last 50 years of football, there have been five players whose physical gifts have stood head and shoulders above their peers to the point that their mere presence changed the game. It's kind of like being the Wilt Chamberlain or Shaquille O'Neal of football.

OK, Jim Brown is at the top of the list. The cliche "man among boys" was invented to describe Jim Brown on an athletic field. Also on the list are Reggie White, Deion Sanders and John Elway. You can now add Randy Moss to the list. All he needs is a championship to cement his place in the game.

Brown couldn't be tackled, White couldn't be blocked, Sanders couldn't be escaped, Elway couldn't be stopped and Moss can't be covered.

Lawrence Taylor, Jerry Rice and Walter Payton are not on this list. They weren't as physically imposing as Brown, White, Sanders, Elway and Moss. Taylor, Rice and Payton dominated with their passion and will to succeed.

Brown, White, Sanders, Elway and Moss were/are just better than everyone else.

Pretty good list to be on. AD has a good chance to be on it soon. And don't worry Jason. Moss will get his Super Bowl ring this year. That's right. Keep your champagne corked you 1972 Dolphins. 19-0 is coming. There's going to be another perfect team come February. Just maybe, the best team ever.

Best year ever

If yesterday was maybe the most enjoyable day I've ever had watching NFL football, then this season has to be close to the most enjoyable I've ever experienced as well. Between AD making the Vikings somewhat relevant in spite of their coaching and Moss and Brady and the Patriots courting perfection, it's been the most fun I've had watching the NFL since Moss was a rookie in 1997.

Great storylines all over. Colts-Patriots. Manning-Brady. The AD Show. The Moss Reincarnation. Even Brett Favre.

OK. I'll never be a Packer Backer. That's heresy. But you can't but feel kind of good about what Favre is doing this year as a 38-year-old. He has the Pack relevant again at 7-1 despite the lack of a running game. He won last Monday's game against the Broncos with a bomb in overtime and beat the Chiefs Sunday with another bomb in the closing minutes. He broke the all-time TD record. Goodness, I'd take him in purple-and-gold any day. Can you imagine how much room AD would have to run if Brett Fav-rah was with the Vikings? Peterson might run for 3,000 yards on the season.

And then there is the Lions, the other team of my youth, at 6-2. Remember Barry Sanders? Herman Moore? Moore was the No. 84 before Moss, my favorite football player ever until Moss –and the best interview I've ever had in my career. I don't hear anybody laughing now about Jon Kitna's prediction that the franchise formerly known as the Kitties would win 10 games this season. Looks pretty likely.

And the other good thing about the NFL this year? My fantasy teams. For the first time ever, I can honestly say "I dun good" at my drafts. Of my five teams, three are in first place – two of them running away with leagues – one is in the upper echelon and the third after scoring a league-record 117 points in Week 2 has since gone in the tank. But all-in-all, it's been a great year. I'll just shut up now, because everybody hates the guy who talks about his fantasy teams, and I definitely don't want to jinx them. It's just that normally I'm an idiot and draft with my heart every year, but with a broken one…

Random thoughts

Congrats to my good friends Super Dave and Michelle who are expecting a little one in three months or so. I should just point out that while Dave claims he was a standout football player growing up in Ohio, he does model underwear, so if it's a boy… Just kidding Dave. Much love.

Oh, and that lucky little leprechaun, I mean Irishman, J.J., got to watch Niski's first career goal live, just because he's based in Texas now. Miss ya, man. I'm still pissed at ya, but you did a great thing when you enlisted in the Army Airborne Rangers. Much love to you and my friends Tracy, Nick, Skee and so many others that have served and protected this great country in the armed forces.

And I'm proud of my little brother Michael for a great senior soccer season at college, even though his team came up one game shy of making the national tournament. Cherish the memories, Mike.

Until next time…

Random links…good times

Good story on Matt Niskanen in today's Dallas Morning News. Read it here:

http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/spt/hockey/stars/stories/103107dnspostarslede.3845d7c.html

My friend and former colleague Jesse White and his wife Chandra just posted their first original song on their myspace site. It's called Carousel, and it's excellent. Listen to it here:

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=188508741

Want a chance to meet The Hanson Brothers? Write why you would like to – better do it quickly; it's this weekend – here:

http://www.neighborsgo.com/stories/6535

If you haven't seen the video of the Seattle cheerleader who got run over by her high school football team yet, check it out here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvqIcURaXTw

Think George W. Bush is bad? Check out twoonefive.com's list of 10 worst world leaders of all time here:

http://www.twoonefivemagazine.com/features_detail.cfm/feature/51/page/2/

And just for fun, here's Britney's new video on YouTube. Seriously, her new album is pretty darn good (or so I've heard). Watch it here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3ceCMpPJgc

View the tale of the tape between Tom Brady and Peyton Manning here:

http://www.usatoday.com/sports/football/nfl/2007-10-30-brady-manning-tape_N.htm?csp=34

I know I can't wait until Sunday.

Until next time…

 

Life, liberty and creativity

Great article on American Thinker on The Judeo-Christian Values of America. It's a good history lesson for those of us brought up in this increasingly-secular and humanist state. We should remember as George Washington said, "It is the duty of all nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God." Here's the link:

 

http://www.americanthinker.com/2007/09/the_judeochristian_values_of_a.html

Until next time…

I don’t believe what I just saw

This is the most amazing game-ending play I've ever seen. Thought you'd enjoy it. There are about 30 laterals before the touchdown. Ridiculous.

http://sports.espn.go.com/broadband/video/videopage?&brand=null&videoId=3083220&n8pe6c=1

Way to go, bro, Niski…

Miller Time

Congratulations to my youngest brother Michael Miller. A senior at Calvary Bible College in Kansas City, MO, he starts at midfielder for the Warriors' men's soccer team. This past weekend in the semifinals of the regional tournament, the Warriors rallied from a 2-0 halftime deficit for a thrilling 3-2 victory, scoring the game-winning goal in the game's final minutes. Calvary lost 3-0 in the finals of the tournament to the No. 1-ranked team in the country, but still has a chance for an at-large bid to the national tournament, which will be held this weekend in Kissimmee, FL. And his girlfriend Rachel Miller, an all-conference hitter for Calvary's volleyball team, led her team to nationals as well.

I'm especially proud of how has battled back from adversity – he overcame cancer, surviving a fierce chemo regimen, several years ago. Here's hoping for a trip to Florida for a really good kid. Great job.

GOOOAAALLL!

In case you missed it, Mountain Iron's own Matt Niskanen scored his first career NHL goal for the Dallas Stars last night. The defenseman's one-timer off a pass from Mike Modano deflected off traffic and found its way to the back of the net to give the Stars a 2-1 lead over the San Jose Sharks in the second period. Modano's assist pulled him within one of Minnesotan Phil Housley for the NHL career scoring record by an American-born player. Remember, Modano lobbied to keep Niskanen with the team coming out of training camp. Unfortunately, the Sharks rallied for three goals in a three-minute span in the third to spoil the night for Niskanen, who thought he made a mistake that led to San Jose's fourth goal. Dallas coach Dave Tippett disagreed and said Niskanen was one of only two Stars' defenders to play well in the game's final period, "head and shoulders" above the others.

Seems like Niskanen is really impressing in Dallas. Couldn't happen to a nicer kid. And as far as being more upset about the loss than happy about scoring his first goal, that's just Niski, always putting the team first. Right now, he is skating under the radar as far as national attention goes, but if he keeps up his solid play, it won't be long before he starts to turn some heads.

Look at me! Look at me! I'm a jerk!

So Alex Rodriguez (via super-sleazy agent Scott Boras) let leak to the press that he would opt out of the final three years of his contract and become a free agent. He did this during Game 4 of the World Series with the rival Red Sox poised to clinch their second World Championship in four years. How classless was that? It couldn't wait until Monday? What a jerk A-Rod is. Imposing himself on baseball's biggest stage. It reeks of rank egotism. And Boras is worse. This is precisely why A-Rod will never be a winner. He is the anti-Niskanen, a me-first player. Always has been, always will be. Period. And some stupid owner is gonna give him a $300 million contract? Just shoot me now, please.

Speaking of jerks

Kobe Bryant is up to his old tricks, pulling the ol' prima donna act again. He could fall off the face of the earth at any time, and I couldn't care less. The Lakers could trade him to China for all its tea for all I care. Can't we just ship Kobe, A-Rod, T.O. and every other egomaniacal jerk out there to their own island packed full of mirrors (so they can fall in love all over again) and their own press clippings (so they have something to pass the time). On second thought, couldn't we just put them with the Snakes on a Plane?

Old gunslingers never die, they just start shootin' blanks

Or so a few pundits wrote about Brett Favre this past week. I think he might've shut 'em up. That 82-yard bomb to Greg Jennings to beat the Broncos on the first play of overtime on MNF last night was a thing of beauty. I'm no Favre apologist, but you gotta admire the man's guts and accomplishments, even if he does play in Green Bay. Brett's still firing bullets, not blanks, and the Packers at 6-1 are doing some damage in the subpar NFC.

Dog bites shoots man

Speaking of bullets, did anyone see this story? (http://www.kcci.com/news/14441475/detail.html) An Iowa man was shot by his dog while hunting Saturday. Fortunately, he is recovering from the lower-leg wound. It happened just two days after a dog accidentally shot a man in Oregon.

And those aren't the first times that man's best friend has fought shot back. In 2004, a Florida man was shooting seven three-month old Shepherd-mix puppies (that he claimed he couldn't find homes for) when one of them got its paw on the trigger of the man's .38, shooting him in the hand. And in 2005, a Bulgarian hunter, angry his dog refused to drop a killed bird, starting beating it with his gun. The dog ended up getting its paw on the trigger, shooting and wounding the hunter. Pretty good revenge, I'd say on both of those counts.

There were also accidental dog shootings in Tennessee, New Zealand and a fatal in Germany over the last decade. What does this tell us? I don't know. Maybe dogs are on a mission to trim the herd. Maybe we could put gun-toting dogs on that island with the jerks. Hmmm…

Wherefore art thou Romo?

Tony Romo just inked a six-year, $67.5 million contract extension with the Dallas Cowboys. In other Romo news, the quarterback partied with Britney Spears over the bye weekend. I'm not quite sure what to make of that. And I'm not going to pile on Britney. (Hasn't that happened enough to her already?)

Torii, Torre, Girardi

Torii Hunter will officially enter the free agent market in 15 days. I'm already getting out my tissue.

Joe Torre is heading to L.A.; Joe Girardi replaces him in N.Y. Sciosca's in L.A. Francona's in Boston. Piniella's in Chicago. LaRussa's in St. Louis. Conspiracy? I'm not sure what I'm trying to say here. You figure it out.

Bringing back the Timberpuppies

Remember how terrible the Minnesota Timberwolves were before KG? Yeeaahh, that's where they're at again. It's going to be a long, long season for them – not for me; I won't be watching. OK, maybe I'll sneak a peak and see if Al Jefferson can be the alpha dog. Or if Randy Foye with his reversed organs is a splendid sophomore. Or if Corey Brewer is what I thought he'd be – the best two-way swingman the Timberwolves have had, maybe ever. Or just to try to figure out the names of the rest of the guys on the team. Undoubtedly, it won't be a pretty season.

On the other hand, KG has the best cast he's ever had around him with sidekicks Paul Pierce and Ray Allen. He was MVP in 2004 the last time he had a decent supporting cast with Sam Cassell and Latrell Sprewell. The Celtics should cruise in a weak Atlantic and the only teams that look capable of stopping them in the playoffs are Detroit and Miami (if it can stay healthy), while it appears the defending Eastern champs Cleveland and LeBron will take a step back. In the wild West, San Antonio's still the team to beat with Dallas and Phoenix close behind. Just don't forget about the Nuggets. I'm just saying Allen Iverson and Carmelo Anthony; don't overlook them.

This is a make-or-break year for the NBA after the ref-betting scandal and some other lowbrow moments for the league this past year. But with KG on a contender, I might actually watch this season.

Things I don't want to talk about

The Vikings. Brad Childress. Grrrr…

Patriots-Colts. Yes, it's the Game of the Milennium, but I'll let ESPN beat it into the ground (for now).

Global warming. (I'm freezing my a** off right now.)

How I missed the last episode of Friday Night Lights.

The putridity of the Gophers.

The mini-slump of the Wild.

The fact that Minnesota sports stink right now.

Other than that, things are peachy.

Until next time…

Random thoughts

Whew!

There will be a National Lacrosse League season after all. Thank goodness. The owners and the players' union agreed to terms yesterday in a last-ditch effort to save the season. You wouldn't believe how much sleep I lost worrying I wouldn't be able to watch the Minnesota Swarm this season.

Whew, too!

On a more serious note, the Georgia Supreme Court voted 4-3 to release Genarlow Wilson from prison after the 21-year-old had served more than two years of a 10-year sentence. The court ruled the sentence was "cruel and unusual punishment". Wilson's crime? Engaging in consensual oral sex as a 17-year-old with a 15-year-old girl. That's never happened before. (Not that I'm condoning premarital sex, but the punishment should fit the crime.) Prior to his trial and imprisonment, Wilson was a promising gridiron star in high school as well as an honor student. But because of an archaic law, he may have missed out on the chance to fulfill his football dreams, if not his educational ones. Kudos to the court for doing the right thing.

Toss him off the balcony

Maybe, Michael Vick is getting off too easy. A judge in South Carolina sentenced a man to three years in prison for tossing a 10-month-old puppy off a balcony during an argument with his girlfriend. The puppy had to be put down after suffering severe injuries. Vick, purportedly, had pit bulls killed in heinous ways, and he got one year in prison. Hmmm…. If anybody ever tossed my MJ off a balcony, I'll tell ya, they'd follow her right over.

Wild times

Through eight games this season, the Minnesota Wild allowed a miniscule 11 goals in compiling a 7-0-1 record. In their past two games, the Wild have given up nine regulation goals in losing outright and in a shootout on three-game their Western road trip. Here's wagering Backstrom & Co. come back strong in Colorado Sunday to finish the swing.

Bad Brad

If Vikings coach Brad Childress does not give the ball to Adrian Peterson more than, and I mean way more than 13 times at home against the Eagles Sunday, he should be shot. Or perhaps something a little more humane. All I'm saying is it's a travesty how poorly he is using the best running back to come out of college since LT.

Rox and Sox

The Rockies come back and make this a classic World Series in the thin air of Colorado, or so says my gut. But then again, my gut went through college surviving on Ritz Bits and Diet Dr. Pepper. Ultimately though, the Red Sox are just too deep and talented. Goodness, I hate Boston right now. Big Papi, The Freak, KG – all in Beantown. I hope all y'all Bostonians choke on your chowder!

Can't hardly wait

For:

Bowling next week. After the third game last night, I think I'm onto something! I don't know, but I'm excited. Then again, a 148 just might be a sign of the impending apocalypse.

Friday Night Lights. Tonight. Second season's heating up. And good gracious is Lyla hot.

Until next time…

Sign Torii! (Oh yeah, there’s a World Series going on, too)

Rusty Rockies or Revved-up Red Sox?

Maybe a little of both. A couple of observations: 1) Josh Beckett is the best postseason pitcher I can remember in the last decade, if not longer; 2) The Rockies didn't face a lineup like this on the Senior Circuit.

When Beckett mowed down the first four batters he faced and little rookie Dustin Pedroia led off with a homer to start a three-run first, you just knew it wasn't going to be 22 of 23 for the Rockies. Obviously, nine days off aren't good for a team's momentum.

Cinderella's going to have to wake up in a hurry or this series is going to be a laugher for Big Papi, Manny and Co. But remember, a blowout loss isn't the end of the world. In 1960, the Pirates lost 16-3, 10-0 and 12-0 to the Yankees but still won the Series on Bill Mazeroski's famous homer in Game 7. So all is not lost. And the Rockies have been nothing if not resilient this postseason.

I still expect a long series, but I believe Beckett is the wild card that tilts it to the BoSox. Like I said, best big postseason pitcher I've seen in a while. And, oh yeah. There's that Big Papi, too. He might be clutch.

Mum's the word

According to this report on ESPN.com (http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=3078990), the Twins have yet to make a contract offer to Torii Hunter this offseason. I'm imploring the front office and ownership on behalf of Twins fans everywhere, sign this guy! He is the heart-and-soul of this team. He's a winner. He's community-minded. He's a role model. And he plays a mean centerfield.

Come on. The new stadium you squeezed out of this state's taxpayers is on the way. Spend some cash! It's long past the time to be a penny-pinching miser. (Did you know billionaire owner Carl Pohlad made his banking fortune foreclosing on poor farmers during the Depression?) It is ridiculous how this team is unwilling to spend money.

If Torii goes, I see a lot of your fan base going. And I might follow.

As Martin Luther King Jr. said, "The time is always right to do what is right."

C'mon, Twins. Do the right thing. Now.

Random thoughts

It's Thursday. And what does that mean? Bowling night. I'm beginning to dread it. Honestly, if you want to find out How Not To Bowl, come watch. It's a travesty or a tragedy, depending on how you look at it.

Dirty Sexy Money Wednesdays on ABC. Great show. Reminds me of my family. Without the billions of dollars.

The Wild lost their first game Wednesday after starting out 7-0-1. Maybe, Niklas Backstrom is human after all. Make that superhuman. After all, he is a Finnlander. (Like yours truly. Just thought I'd sneak that in.)

Until next time…

Perfection personified and The Big Chill (written 10/23/07)

Patriots' Pursuit of Perfection

If you could even call it a pursuit. What Tom Brady, Randy Moss and the Patriots have wreaked on the league in the first seven weeks is obscene, mind-blowing and stupefying. As a team, New England is on pace to shatter the Vikings' single-season scoring record of 556 points set in 1998 when, you guessed it, Moss, was wearing a purple 84, by an astounding five points per game. They are beating teams by more than 22 points a game, a margin of victory which is better than nearly a third of the league is scoring per game. It's been said by some pundits that "Oh, the Patriots. Well, they haven't played anybody tough this year other than Dallas." People, this is the NFL. You know, "Any Given Sunday" where any team can conceivably beat any team on any day. The Patriots are simply the most exquisite team I've ever seen assembled and quite possibly the best ever. As I said a few weeks ago, 19-0 looms.

 

Brady is playing at a level I've never seen before. When Dan Marino set the phenomenal mark of 48 TD passes in a season back in 1984, I, amongst many other thought it would never be broken. Then again, I was seven years old; what'd I know? Peyton Manning broke that record with 49 two years ago. Very impressive. But Brady? On pace for 62 TDs? Oh my!

 

And then there's Moss being Moss again. Double-teamed on both those TD catches Sunday. His wondrous sense of timing and still-sensation leaping ability got him the first one. The second? The one he caught with the crook of his arm? Yikes. And that wasn't his best one of the game. That would be the one-hander he caught just out of the back of the end zone. (What did you say about Randy, Art Shell? That his legs were gone; that he was washed up. Art? Aaa-rrrt? I can't hear you. That's what I thought.) Moss is on pace to break Jerry Rice's single-season TD catch record of 22 and is once again looking like the most talented wide receiver of all-time.

 

Can't wait for Patriots-Colts in 12 days. Here's an early prediction: NE 42, IND 24. That might settle the argument. (And Gregg Easterbrook of ESPN.com, who I used to enjoy reading, can fall off his high horse any time now. His speculation of what or what might not have happened with Spygate was just that: speculation, not good journalism. The fact that he believes that the Colts represent Good and the Patriots Evil is a great angle for a column. But since Week 1, he has been sitting on his high horse and beating it to death. Shut up already!)

 

Ahh, mixed metaphors…my favorite.

 

The Big Chill

The Vikings led the Cowboys 14-7 at halftime Sunday, thanks in part to another pretty TD run by Adrian Peterson. Guess how many times the best rookie running back since Eric Dickerson touched the ball as a running back in the game? Try 13. EVERYtime I think Minnesota coach Brad Childress can't possibly get denser, he goes out and proves me wrong. That was an imminently winnable game on Sunday even with the terrible play of Tavaris Jackson. It could have been the biggest victory in recent Purple memory for that matter – a road win at the odds-on NFC favorite – but Childress again failed to utilize the second-best running back in the league. Peterson was never in the game on third down. And a week after burning the vaunted Bears defense for 224 yards, Childress again used Peterson as a backup and only called 12 freakin' running plays for him. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!

 

Yo, Adrian. Next year will be better, I promise, when we get rid of this anti-MENSA candidate as coach and bring in a box of rocks. At least the box might know to give the ball to the best player on the field. (I'm just going to walk away muttering to myself. Ooh-sa.)

 

Random thoughts

Rockies-Red Sox. I just might enjoy this World Series. Too bad the Tribe choked on their tomahawks and screwed up my prediction. My prediction tomorrow.

 

The Golden Gophers have officially reached a new low. Losing to North Dakota State? Maybe they should get Sisters of the Poor back on the schedule. I'm too sick to speak of them right now.

 

I miss my MJ. If anyone sees my pretty black girl, tell her I said hi.

 

The Wild are still unbeaten. Nisky's still with the big club. It's going to be a fun NHL season.

 

I can't wait to see KG win a title. And yes, it'll happy next year.

 

Until next time…

The extent of reality (written 10/16/07)

Random thoughts

 

What atheists Kant quite grasp

Great article in the Christian Science Monitor today about the limits of reason by author Dinesh D'Souza. In the late 1700s, the great Enlightenment philosopher Immanuel Kant provided an argument against atheism that to this day has yet to be refuted. Basically, atheists believe everything can be explained through reason and science. But the reality as Kant plainly reveals in his "Critique of Pure Reason", is that humans are limited by their apparatus of perception. It's an excellent read. Here's the link: http://www.csmonitor.com/2007/1017/p09s06-coop.html

 

Rockies Mountain High
What the Colorado Rockies have done in the last month is simply astounding. Winning 13 of 14 games to end the season to force a one-game playoff. Winning that game. Sweeping the Phillies in the division series. Sweeping the Diamondbacks in the NLCS. That adds up to 21 wins in 22 games. Inconceivable. As impressive as the Twins run to the division title was last year – and it was oh-so personally gratifying – it pales in comparison to what the Rockies are doing. Cleveland or Boston will have their hands full in the World Series.

 

Short and sweet today. Got to run. Big day tomorrow. Hopefully, I won't have to dodge a book thrown at me.

 

Until next time…

I wanna be Tom Brady (written 10/15/07)

The Brady Bunches and Patriot Games

Two observations that are true in my mind: I have a huge man-crush on Tom Brady, AND the Patriots are unequivocally the best football team I have ever laid eyes on.

Sunday, the Patriots played the Cowboys in just the fifth meeting in NFL history of two unbeaten teams (with at least 5-0 records). It was supposed to be a Super Bowl preview, and it looked to be when Dallas pulled ahead 24-21 in the third quarter. Not a problem for Tom Terrific and the Pats, who cruised for 27 points on their next five possessions to blister the 'Boys 48-27.

Brady's throwing TDs in bunches – 21 through six games after his 5 TDs (should have been six – weak push off call against Moss negated another) – and is on pace to throw a mind-blowing 56 this season, seven better than Peyton's record of two years ago. He is otherworldly. The needle on the scale of who's a better QB, Peyton or Brady has officially swung heavily in favor of everybody's favorite cover boy, away from the world's biggest pitchman. (Did I mention, he dates a supermodel? And he's throwing to Randy Moss? Pardon me, I'm drooling on myself right now.)

In three weeks, New England will travel to Indy to take on the Colts in what will be hyped as the "Game of the Century", proceed to destroy the defending champs and continue on their march of destiny – to a perfect 19-0 season and their fourth Super Bowl title. And Moss and myself (for writing about my boy constantly for the past 10 years) will be vindicated.

As for the other 81, screw it, he ain't even worth mentioning.

Adrian is not a girl's name

In fact, there's probably going to be a slew of Minnesota boys born in the next few months that draw that moniker after Sunday's slaying of the Bears by Adrian Peterson. Zowwiieee!

All Minnesota's rookie BACKUP running back extraordinaire did was burn through Chicago on TD runs of 67, 73 and 35 yards en route to 224 yards on just 20 carries. And his 49-yard kickoff return after the Bears had improbably rallied to tie the score set up Ryan Longwell's game-winning 55-yard FG as his 361 all-purpose yards were a rookie record.

I can only recall one other rookie breaking into the league and absolutely redefining his position immediately. It was a decade ago. He also wore purple. And 84. Need any more hints?

If LT hadn't broken out Sunday for the 'Bolts, I'd be hard-pressed to rate anybody in the league higher than AP at running back.

The only downside to this is Peterson may inadvertently save Brad Childress' job with his singularly stupendous skills. But then again, if I know Chilly, he's awfully good at stopping the Vikings offense. God knows, he's the only one who can slow down Peterson. (Any wagers that he'll continue to start Chester Taylor?)

Stupid is…

What a moron, and what I mean by that, is what an idiot, or to clarify, what a do-da-doo!

I should have my head examined. Not only did I sit Adrian Peterson in two of my fantasy leagues, costing myself high points for the week in both, but I also put my Last Man Standing life on the backs of the Arizona Freakin' Cardinals!

One of only 43 guys remaining for a large cash prize with BOTH the Patriots and the Colts in my pocket, not to mention the Chargers and Ravens, both of whom were obvious picks this week, and I talked myself into the CARDINALS?! Hey genius, why would you put your hopes on the brittle Kurt Warner? Sure enough, two minutes into the game, he's out, Tim Freakin' Rattay is in, and of course, the Cardinals squander a late fourth-quarter lead to 43-year-old Vinny Freakin' Testaverde.

And I went 5-7 on my spread picks from Friday.

I will now blindfold myself and stroll into oncoming traffic.

Random thoughts

The Minnesota Wild are now 5-0 after their third shutout of the season. And it wasn't Nik Backstrom, but rookie Josh Harding in net. Wonder if they'll move up from 12^th in this week's ESPN power rankings. Then again being the only undefeated team in the NHL is probably only good enough to bump them up to eighth or so. Some R-E-S-P-E-C-T, please!

Friday Night Lights. Watch it. You won't be sorry.

Chuck looks like it will be pretty decent tonight. They're adding another super-hot secret agent to the mix with the one they have on already. Yowsers! Though the storyline is a bit sketchy, the vixens make this show well worth watching. (What does suck is it goes up against one of the best half-hour sitcoms out there, How I Met Your Mother.)

I still can't believe I picked the Arizona Freakin' Cardinals with the Patriots and Colts still in my pocket. Dumbest smart kid I know. (Hold on while I slam my head repeatedly on my desk. Maybe blood loss will help.)

A Cleveland-Colorado World Series. Lookin' good, eh? Nobody believed me when I said it a few weeks ago. Uh-huh. Who da man now?

If you would have told me two months ago that South Florida would be No. 2 in the BCS rankings (coo-coo, coo-coo), I would have had you committed. As for Ohio State being No. 1? Let's just say I'm wearing my authentic red No. 7 Joey Galloway jersey loud and proud today.

Until next time…

Never trust a stripper (written 10/12/07)

Random thoughts

 

Go Wild!

The Minnesota Wild are 3-0 and seriously overlooked and underrated in the NHL community. Gabby & Co. haven't even gone off yet, but it hasn't mattered because Niklas Backstrom just might be the best goaltender in the NHL right now. Steady, technically-sound, unflappable. The stoic Finn is as close to a sure thing as there is between the pipes in the NHL right now. We'll get a better picture of where the Wild are at after their upcoming four-game road trip. If nothing else, they are the only pro team in Minnesota worth getting excited over.

 

Never get engaged to a stripper

Check out Mechele Linehan. Seems like a prize catch. A decade ago, when she was dancing for the Great Alaska Bush Co. (almost as good a name for a strip club as Tuna's), she was SO HOT, that she didn't even have to dance. Men would pay her just to talk to her. Seems she's on trial now for a plot emulating The Last Seduction, a thriller in which the femme fatale sweet-talks her sweetie into killing her husband for her and gets off scot-free in the end. In this case, Linehan convinced a guy to kill her fiancé for his $1 million life insurance policy 10 years ago. Only problem for her was the guy must have caught one or two of her death glares and switched the policy to his parents just days before he was lured to a desolate place and shot to death. Quite the story. Read more about it here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21230656/?GT1=10450. And the lesson as usual, NEVER trust a stripper!

 

Moss or T.O.?

I don't even see an argument here. T.O. posted a note in his locker for reporters this week that he didn't want to talk about "the other 81" (Moss) and wouldn't speak until reporters until after Sunday's showdown between the Patriots and the Cowboys. Could it be that T.O. is still choking just like he did all Monday night in that improbable win over the Bills? Who had three drops in the game, two of them in the absolutely crucial final minute? Hmmm. Let's see. T.O. dropped the game-tying two-point conversion pass. T.O. dropped a 22-yard pass in the final seconds that would have set up Dallas to kick the game-tying field goal from much closer than they had to two plays later. T.O. better be doing something major for rookie kicker Nick Folk for saving his rear end. Do you think Moss would have dropped either of those two balls? Let's see. Moss has been thrown to 38 times by Tom Brady this season. Thirty-four of those times, Moss recorded the reception. Not a single one was a drop. And that's all I have to say about that right now. We'll see which 81 steals the show on Sunday.

 

Picks Fix

I went 7-7 last week in my first time ever picking against the spread. Here's shooting for 7-6 this week!

 

Baltimore -9 ½ over St. Louis

The battered Rams will be picked to the bone by a Raven-ous defense.

 

Washington +3 ½ over Green Bay

The much-improved defense of the Redskins will be after Brett Favre's scalp because of the nonexistent Pack run attack.

 

Tennessee +2 ½ over Tampa Bay

Too many injuries for the Bucs to overcome in their clash with the Titans.

 

Cincinnati -3 ½ over Kansas City

Last chance for the offensively-talented, defensively-challenged Bengals to stay in the playoff hunt in a shootout at the Arrowhead.

 

N.Y. Jets +2 ½ over Philadelphia

Seeing green in an ugly matchup between two disappointing teams at the Meadowlands

 

Jacksonville -6 ½ over Houston

The Jaguars (swept in two of the last three seasons by Houston) get it figured out against the still short-handed Texans.

 

Minnesota +5 ½ over Chicago

The Bears might have saved their season with a big win over the Packers Sunday night, but the Vikings defense will give them all they can handle.

 

Miami +4 ½ over Cleveland

A game I would pay not to see. The Browns keep the Dolphins winless with a late field goal.

 

Arizona -4 ½ over Carolina

Normally, I'd never bet on the Cardinals and never, ever take them on my Last Man Standing board, but that's what I'm going to do this week, mainly because 43-year-old Vinny Testaverde will likely be taking snaps for the Panthers this week.

 

Oakland +10 ½ over San Diego

Everyone's gaga over the Chargers after their spanking of the Broncos (who are two plays away from being 0-5 this season.) I'm not. Daunte and the Raiders make this a game.

 

New England -4 ½ over Dallas

The Patriots are hands-down, the most complete NFL team I've seen in my lifetime. I don't think 16-0 is too big a stretch at this point. (At this point, I should also point out that I'm an idiot.)

 

Seattle -6 ½ over New Orleans

I keep waiting for the Saints to wake up. Still waiting after this week after Alexander and the Seahawks run 'em over.

 

N.Y. Giants -3 ½ over Atlanta

Looks like the Giants have put it all together after a miserable start. The Falcons? Not so much.

 

And that's all I got to say about that.

 

Until next time…

Iron Range boys make good (written 10/9/07)

A Star is Born?

 

It looks like Matt Niskanen will be skating with the big club for the foreseeable future. Monday, the Dallas Stars activated young defenseman Niklas Grossman from the injured list and sent veteran Nolan Baumgartner to the minors. Niskanen, who notched his first two NHL points with a pair of assists in Friday's 4-1 win over Boston and has a plus/minus of +2 through three games this season, was kept on the roster.

 

Niskanen, though just 20 and one year removed from college hockey with the UMD Bulldogs, evidently has impressed so far this season. Here's what his defensive linemate Philippe Boucher had to say about the Mountain Iron native:

 

"I think the first thing you notice is he has the tools. He has good vision. He skates well. He has good hands. But I think you also see how calm he is. He doesn't let many things get to him."

His coach, Dave Tippett, said Monday, "Niskanen played himself into this position, so we'll go from here."

 

Niskanen will likely continue to play regularly while Grossman, 22, a bruising prospect, works himself back into game shape. It's likely Niskanen could be a healthy scratch as the seventh defenseman in some games, but he doesn't see it as a problem.

 

"It's a different word here, so just being here, I think, is a good thing."

 

I expected Niskanen to become a regular in an NHL lineup at some point in the next two years, but just not this soon. It's a tribute to Nisky's skill, attitude and work ethic.

 

Dusty is trusty, not musty or rusty

 

Remember Dusty Rychart? He was a standout basketball player and All-State first team selection at Grand Rapids High School, graduating in 1997. He walked on at the University of Minnesota, earning a scholarship as a redshirt freshman and had his coming-out party on national television in the wake of the Gophers' academic scandal.

 

Rychart won an NIT Championship with the Gophers and was named to the All-Big Ten Team his junior and senior seasons.

 

After college, he tried out for the NBA (playing in the Timberwolves' summer league) but was overlooked as too slow and too small. The same things were said of him coming out of high school.

 

So Rychart expanded his horizons, travelling to the other side of the globe to fulfill his basketball dreams. In 2002, he signed with the Victoria Giants in Australia's National Basketball League. When the Giants disbanded, Rychart joined the Adelaide 36ers, where he was team MVP in 2005.

 

Rychart joined the Brisbane Bullets in 2006 and helped them win the league championship. On Brisbane's website, one can vote for their favorite player. And you guessed it, the Minnesotan is the most popular on the team with nearly 25-percent of the vote.

 

Rychart's team is off to a hot start again this season, having won each of its first four games. It's always nice to see northern Minnesota natives succeeding, whether it's on the hardwood, diamond, gridiron or ice.

 

Random thoughts

 

Ding, dong, the witch is dead! Once again, the $200 million payroll of the New York Yankees fails to bring home a World Series title. I feel soooooooo bad for them. Someone get A-Rod a tissue.

 

How 'bout dem Cowboys? I don't know how Dallas pulled out that win last night after one of the ugliest performances I've ever seen out of a quarterback this side of Rex Grossman. Give Tony Romo credit though. He shook off his awful first three-and-a-half quarters performance to lead them back and win it. There is no way the Bills should have lost that game, but I guess that's just what bad teams do.

 

Speaking of the Cowboys, the hype for their clash with the Patriots this Sunday is going to be insane. Do you realize that this will be the just the fifth time in NFL history that two unbeaten teams with records of at least 5-0 will meet? Wow, that says a lot about how hard it is to stay unblemished in the NFL. I'm looking forward to Randy Moss forever establishing himself as way, way, way, way, way, way, way, way better than Terrell Owens. (Did you see T.O. last night? How many drops? The game-tying two-pointer slipped through his fingers. You think the Freak would have choked like that?) I'll join the hype on this game later this week.

 

As Bill Simmons of ESPN.com wrote lately, save Friday Night Lights! Watch it on ABC at 8 p.m. Fridays. It's an excellent show that hasn't quite had the ratings yet to assure its survival. I didn't watch much of any TV last year, so I missed the first season, but I bought it on DVD the other day at Target, and it might be my new favorite show. The premiere of the second season was the past Friday, and I'm hooked. It's not just a show about football. It's about a community with meaningful, memorable characters that exude raw emotion not seen on many other shows today. It's well worth watching.

 

I should probably just quit writing about football. I went a mediocre 7-7 on my picks last week. Hope nobody took my advice to heart and now wants to break my kneecaps – the hip is enough already. And that great fantasy team I have in Flaimer's league? Yeah, I jinxed them. Uh-huh. They went in the tank this week. I will now run into oncoming traffic…

 

Until next time…

More randomness… (written 10/5/07)

Random thoughts

I suck at bowling. I will soon be posting a "How Not To Bowl" column, which I'm trying to sell to one of the national bowling magazines. Last night at league, I was lucky to crack 100 in my last two games. Pretty feeble. I'm going to blame my hip for that…

I miss KG. Why'd you have to go? Oh yeah. Thanks Kevin McHale and Glen Taylor. Wonderful trade. Glad you got three cents on the dollar there. Great article on The Franchise on ESPN.com (http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/trainingcamp07/news/story?page=RomanKGCeltics&lpos=spotlight&lid=tab3pos2). I'm already penciling the Boston Celtics in the NBA Finals next spring. It's about time Garnett gets his due after spending 11 years with the Timberwolves with poor to middling and one decent supporting cast(s). (Shudder.) I just can't believe I'll be rooting for the Boston Celtics this year. I don't know why, but I always cheered for the Lakers in those great Bird-Magic matchups when I was a youngster. It's just not gonna be right watching KG wearing a green-and-white No. 5 this season.

Speaking of No. 5s. Mountain Iron's Matt Niskanen made his NHL debut on Wednesday night, playing 15 minutes for the Dallas Stars in a 4-3 loss to the Colorado Avalanche. Nisky didn't show up on the stat sheet with any points, shots or penalties, but he posted a plus/minus of 0, which is his team's goal differential when he was on the ice. Niskanen should be on the ice tonight as well when Dallas plays its home opener against the Boston Bruins.

Here's to Nisky picking up his first career point tonight.

OK. I'm a little bit late. But here's my vote for a Cleveland-Colorado World Series. I'm tired of whiny Cubbies fans and arrogant Yankees and Red Sox fans. I could care less about Arizona, and though I don't mind either Philly or the Angels, I just think a Rockies-Indians series would be fun. After all the Indians haven't won the World Series since 1948 and the last time they played in one, the lost in Game 7 to the Florida Marlins, who came into the league at the last expansion with the, you guessed it, Colorado Rockies. It would be Colorado's first-ever appearance in the World Series. Plus, it would tick off the networks to have two small-market teams playing for the title. And it's always fun to piss off big media companies.

By the way, not to jinx myself, but out of 32 teams in Flaimer's fantasy football league, I'm first (knock on wood) in the power rankings with 477 points in four weeks, 43 points better than the No. 2 guy. Now, usually I suck at fantasy football, because I pick with my heart rather than my head, but since it (my heart) is broken, it made it a lot easier this year!

Until next time…

Randomness… (written 10/3/07)

Random thoughts

 

Happy birthday, Mom! Sorry I'm making you go gray. Thanks for always loving and being there for me.

 

It's official. Matt Niskanen will make his NHL debut tonight when the Dallas Stars play at the Colorado Avalanche. The game can be seen on Versus or on the NHL Center Ice package. Here's hoping for a long and prosperous career for the Mountain Iron native.

 

Cavemen had its moments last night, but the GEICO commercials are better. Cane continued to impress in its second episode. Looking forward to Dirty Sexy Money tonight.

 

Didya hear? American Gladiators is coming back! NBC is bringing back the show, which features contestants pitted against the show's uber-athletes in athletic contests. And the host is likely going to be none other than Hulk Hogan (Hogan Knows Best is one of the most watchable reality shows out there.) I watched the original show every weekend growing up and still catch the reruns on ESPN Classic from time to time. Can't wait for the spruced-up new version. (I'd love to try out for it, but I think it might exceed my hip's restrictions, just a smidgen.)

 

Things I don't care about: Brittany losing her kids; Spygate (it's over people, get over it!); the MLB playoffs (OK, I care; I'm just getting over my sub-.500 Twins' hangover); The Bachelor, Dancing with the Stars, The Biggest Loser, any other network reality show; O.J. Simpson's and Isaiah Thomas' legal troubles (If I never heard another word from either of them, I could die happy); anything that has to do with Barry Bonds (just retire already); oh, and lying, stab-you-in-the-back b****es (you know who you are).

 

Tomorrow, I see my surgeon, Dr. Jefferson Davis, for hopefully the last time about my hip. Wish me luck…

 

Until next time…

The Freak Show, Johan and such (written 10/2/07)

The Freak Show

I got two words for you: Randy Moss.

You know I couldn't stay away from my boy for very long, not after watching him torch a fourth straight opponent, the Bengals, Monday night for 100-plus yards and two touchdowns, including a classic "throw it up there and I'll go get it dog, gol-ly!" scoring snare.

Let's see. Everybody (OK, there were a couple of exceptions) wrote him off after last year's dreadful season when he caught just three TD passes for one of the worst and worst-coached teams of all time, the Oakland Raiders. Art Shell, the aforementioned awful coach, suggested he'd lost a step and his skills were eroding. So the Raiders gave him away for a FOURTH-ROUND DRAFT PICK! Are you kidding me?

All Moss has done in his first four games with the New England Patriots is catch 31 balls for 505 yards and SEVEN touchdowns. Gulp. Talk about the rich getting richer. That has to rank as maybe the Steal of the Century.

Moss is on pace to catch 124 passes for 2020 yards and 2-freakin'-8 touchdowns this season. Let that sink in for a little bit. Twenty-eight TDs! The record is 22 by the sublime Jerry Rice – oh, and the 2000-plus yards would shatter the all-time record, too.

What have I said about Moss all along? He is the most talented wide receiver EVER. Period. He made quarterbacks. Would Randall Cunningham have been the MVP in 1998 without him? No. Would Jeff George and Brad Johnson have rejuvenated their careers without him? No. Would Daunte Culpepper have been a three-time All-Pro QB without him? Hell, no!

 

So now you team him with Tom Brady, a three-time Super Bowl winner (throwing to a pack of mediocre, at best, receivers) and what do you get? Maybe the most lethal pitch-catch combination of all-time. (OK, it's a little early to say that, but mark my words…)

 

And he's been the consummate team player with the Patriots. Note this quote by fullback Heath Evans.

 

"Obviously I only know what I've seen here, but I see a guy who asks questions in team meetings, I see a guy who seems to be in his playbook because he knows it.

"I see a guy that is constantly challenging other people, whether it's defensive backs or other wide receivers, to step up to the plate. I see a guy that works hard, who knows how he needs to work. Those intangibles are hard to find and they're all in one guy.

"What he's done here, I couldn't have a better teammate."

 

OK, Vikes. Step up. Admit it. You were idiots. You traded away the most talented wide receiver in NFL history. It's OK though. I forgive you. It's a lot more fun watching what he's doing with Brady right now that it would be with Tavaris Jackson or Kelly Holcomb throwing to him.

 

(On that note, I'm thinking of transplanting to Boston soon. Let's see: Randy Moss, my all-time favorite athlete, now plays there; Kevin Garnett, always been my main man besides my brother-from-another-mother Reggie Miller, now plays there; Laurence Maroney, the most exciting Minnesota Gopher football player I can remember, now plays there; Big Papi aka David Ortiz, the best clutch hitter in baseball and former Twin, has been playing there for a while; and Torii Hunter, well, I wouldn't be surprised if he's roaming center in Fenway next year. We might as well ship Marion Gaborik to the Bruins while we're at it.)

 

A few years ago, I wrote about how lucky we are to live in Minnesota and have phenomenal athletes like Moss, Garnett, Hunter and Maroney to watch.

 

My new philosophy?

 

Go East, young man!

 

Johan gone?

 

ESPN.com's Buster Olney proposes an interesting trade the Twins could make this offseason. Johan Santana (who will demand $20 million-plus a year – unaffordable on the Twins' current budget – when he comes a free agent next offseason) to the shell-shocked New York Mets for Jose Reyes. For those of you who don't know anything about Reyes, he might be the most exciting player in the game today. The speedy shortstop was last year's Silver Slugger in the National League and posted a .280 average with 36 doubles, 12 triples and 78 stolen bases this season.

 

His contract is affordable at around $6.5 million per for the next three years with an $11 million option in 2011 when the Twins will be in their new stadium and presumably pulling in the big bucks. Reyes, 24, is young, an excellent defensive player and the best leadoff hitter in baseball. While it may be heresy to say the Twins should trade away the best pitcher in baseball, it'd be better to get someone really good like Reyes than lose him for nothing next fall.

 

Plus, the Twins (who would likely have to give up Jason Bartlett also in the trade) could pick up a solid outfield and a good pitching prospect in the deal. And they would save enough money to be able to re-sign Torii Hunter. With Francisco Liriano returning next season and the emergence of Scott Baker and Matt Garza, their pitching rotation would be in decent shape, and they would certainly be contenders again.

 

Just a thought…but I like it.

 

Random thoughts

 

It still looks like Matt Niskanen will be on the Dallas Stars opening night roster tomorrow in Colorado.

 

Best new artist I've heard in a while: Jay Clifford. You heard it here first. Driving Blind (no wisecracks!) is my new favorite CD.

 

Ricky Williams applied for reinstatement to the NFL. I just don't see him lasting very long not being able to smoke the ganja. He reminds me of my…oh, never mind. Here's hoping he makes it back, because he's a heckuva running back when he doesn't have the munchies.

 

According to my TV schedule (courtesy of Trystan, thanks!), I have four shows to watch tonight: Cavemen, which conflicts with NCIS, The Unit and Cane. I highly recommend giving Cane a shot. Great cast, excellent storyline, super setting. More on the show another day.

 

Until next time…

Silver Linings and Fallen Angels

Pita: Creasy
[pause]
Pita: You're smiling.
Creasy: What?
Pita: You were smiling.
Creasy: No, I'm not.
Pita: You were.
Creasy: No, I was not.
Pita: You're not now, but you were.
Creasy: No, *you* were smiling, I wasn't smiling.
Pita: You were.
Creasy: When?
Pita: Like, five seconds ago.
Creasy: I'm not smiling.
Pita: Well, a second ago you were.
Creasy: No, you said five seconds ago, now that's six. Six seconds ago I was not smiling.
Pita: Okay, 10 seconds ago.
Creasy: 10 seconds ago, I was smiling. Okay, in the next 10 seconds let's see who smiles first.
[pause]
Creasy: You smiled already. See? You did.
Pita: Mmm.
[pointing at Creasy]
Creasy: No, that wasn't a - That was a smirk, that's not a smile. A smirk is different. They both start with "S," but they're not the same - Do your homework.
Pita: [Creasy walks away] You were!

The preceding was an exchange between Dakota Fanning (Pita) and Denzel Washington (Creasy) in 2004's Man on Fire.

OK. So maybe the past year or so hasn't been the best of my existence. Between shattering my right hip like glass in a vicious car accident (CRASH) and searing both hands catching a falling fire pit (BURN), the separation from the love of my life, my crazy/beautiful wife Candice and several other bizarre/tragic/comedic/stupid occurrences, the dumbest smart kid I know (me) has seen better days.

Not that I'm complaining. A lot of people have had it a lot worse than I have. You just gotta deal with it. Life goes on. It doesn't stop for you. Creasy, in the aforementioned great flick, Man on Fire, was a tortured soul, who was at the point of giving up until a misfired 9mm round and Pita, the precocious young girl he's hired to protect, gave him a reason to go on.

Perhaps, it's a poor analogy, but for me as Creasy, the car accident was my second chance, aka the failed 9mm round, and this new job – the opportunity to write again – is my Pita. It's my opportunity to smile, or at the very least, smirk again. Well, that amongst other factors, but that's another story for another time.

Nifty Nisky

Just three short years ago, Matt Niskanen was wearing a red-and-gold No. 5 and quarterbacking the Mountain Iron-Buhl Rangers to a second straight unbeaten regular season and another berth in the Minnesota state playoffs.

Tuesday night, Niskanen likely will be wearing a black-and-gold No. 5 and making his NHL debut for the Dallas Stars in Colorado. A long shot to make the team entering training camp, the Mountain Iron native impressed throughout the preseason and looks to have made the team as its seventh defenseman.

Some of you remember Niskanen as the high-scoring defenseman for the Virginia/Mountain Iron-Buhl that led the Blue Devils to their first and only state tournament appearance in 2005. Later that year, I was privileged to be sitting with Niskanen, his parents and friends when he got the call from Dallas that he was their first round pick (28^th overall) in the NHL Draft.

Niskanen could have gone to the University of Minnesota where he would have fit in well with the high-scoring Gophers. But loyalty to his high school (the "U" wanted him to skip his senior season and play juniors) led Niskanen to choose to play at UMD, where last season, he fulfilled his promise, being named to the All-WCHA First Team.

Deciding he had learned all he could in his two years at the college level, Niskanen signed his first pro contract last spring and finished the season with the Stars' AHL affiliate in Iowa.

It looks like he made a smart decision. He will be the youngest player on the Dallas roster and one of the youngest in the league. Though he quite possibly won't stick on the Stars' roster the entire season (his minutes there will likely be limited and it'll be better for his development if he gets more playing time in Iowa), it's got to be a great feeling for the 21-year-old.

Niskanen was easily the best interview of any high school athlete I've ever interviewed. Completely humble, he never took any credit for any of his phenomenal success, rather crediting his coaches and teammates for his accomplishments.

Dallas got a high-character kid in drafting Niskanen. They won't be disappointed. I look forward to watching him in an NHL uniform for many years to come.

Goodbye, Torii?

Sunday might have marked the final game for Torii Hunter in a Minnesota Twins uniform.

(Give me a second while I scream.)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, got that out of my system.

Hunter, 32, had a career year for the Twins this past season, batting .287 with 28 homers and 107 RBIs, and almost assuredly will win his seventh consecutive Gold Glove in center field.

He's also a free agent, since the Twins, for lack of trying, failed to lock up the heart-and-soul of their team with an extension, despite his stated desire to remain in Minnesota.

Come on (Twins owner Carl) Pohlad! Loosen the purse strings. I mean, you're only the 114^th richest American with some 3.1 BILLION dollars in assets. You can't take it with you! You've already prevailed on the state to pay for most of a brand-new outdoor stadium that will open up in downtown Minneapolis in 2010.

Don't you think the guy who was the centerpiece of three AL Central championship teams in the last five seasons, the guy who helped carry this franchise out of the doldrums, deserves to be rewarded? Don't you think the fans that the last six seasons have packed the sterile, "worst place to watch a baseball game in America" Metrodome deserve to see him play in the new stadium?

If Hunter goes, Johan Santana, the best pitcher in baseball, won't be far behind him. And soon the Twins will be back in the quagmire that they wallowed in through most of the 1990s.

But oh, the fans will come in droves because the new stadium will open! Puh-lease. That's disgraceful.

If Torii goes, it's a knife in the back of a lot of loyal Twins fans.

Open the pocketbook.

I know I won't forgive you if you don't.

Yo, Adrian!

Q: How do you stop (Vikings' rookie running back) Adrian Peterson?

A: Put him on a team coached by Major Dad (Minnesota head coach Brad Childress).

Peterson, the explosive rookie running back from Oklahoma, touched the ball just 16 times Sunday's seven-point loss to arch-rival Green Bay. He rushed for 112 yards on just 12 carries, including a 55-yard second-quarter burst up the middle. Other than that, the only times he touched the ball were on three kick returns and one catch.

And for the second week in a row, with the game on the line, and the Vikings with a chance to drive to tie or win the game, Peterson was on the bench.

WTF?

This is exactly why I felt the Vikings let the wrong guy go this offseason, allowing defensive coordinator Mike Tomlin to go to Pittsburgh, where as the youngest head coach in the league, he has the Steelers off to a 3-1 start.

Childress was brutal last year, and he's shown no signs of improvement this season.

Yo, you might wanna get Adrian the ball a few more times. It might be the only way to save your job.

On second thought, screw it. Don't give him the ball. Then maybe we'll get a real had coach next year.

Random thoughts

Anybody see LeBron James hosting the season premiere of SNL Saturday? The man is not only one of the three best players in the NBA, he's also a comedic genius. Check out this clip http://youtube.com/watch?v=7rkosq9Nh2o.

Best new show this season – and trust me, I've had a lot of time to watch TV for the first time in years – well, it's a toss-up between Cane (Tuesday's at 9)
and Dirty Sexy Money (Wednedays at 9). Cavemen premieres Tuesday at 7 p.m. Gonna have to check that out. Also, worth watching: The Unit (Tuesdays at 8), Chuck (Mondays at 7) and Friday Night Lights (Fridays at 8).

Until next time…