Pita: Creasy
[pause]
Pita: You're smiling.
Creasy: What?
Pita: You were smiling.
Creasy: No, I'm not.
Pita: You were.
Creasy: No, I was not.
Pita: You're not now, but you were.
Creasy: No, *you* were smiling, I wasn't smiling.
Pita: You were.
Creasy: When?
Pita: Like, five seconds ago.
Creasy: I'm not smiling.
Pita: Well, a second ago you were.
Creasy: No, you said five seconds ago, now that's six. Six seconds ago I was not smiling.
Pita: Okay, 10 seconds ago.
Creasy: 10 seconds ago, I was smiling. Okay, in the next 10 seconds let's see who smiles first.
[pause]
Creasy: You smiled already. See? You did.
Pita: Mmm.
[pointing at Creasy]
Creasy: No, that wasn't a - That was a smirk, that's not a smile. A smirk is different. They both start with "S," but they're not the same - Do your homework.
Pita: [Creasy walks away] You were!
The preceding was an exchange between Dakota Fanning (Pita) and Denzel Washington (Creasy) in 2004's Man on Fire.
OK. So maybe the past year or so hasn't been the best of my existence. Between shattering my right hip like glass in a vicious car accident (CRASH) and searing both hands catching a falling fire pit (BURN), the separation from the love of my life, my crazy/beautiful wife Candice and several other bizarre/tragic/comedic/stupid occurrences, the dumbest smart kid I know (me) has seen better days.
Not that I'm complaining. A lot of people have had it a lot worse than I have. You just gotta deal with it. Life goes on. It doesn't stop for you. Creasy, in the aforementioned great flick, Man on Fire, was a tortured soul, who was at the point of giving up until a misfired 9mm round and Pita, the precocious young girl he's hired to protect, gave him a reason to go on.
Perhaps, it's a poor analogy, but for me as Creasy, the car accident was my second chance, aka the failed 9mm round, and this new job – the opportunity to write again – is my Pita. It's my opportunity to smile, or at the very least, smirk again. Well, that amongst other factors, but that's another story for another time.
Nifty Nisky
Just three short years ago, Matt Niskanen was wearing a red-and-gold No. 5 and quarterbacking the Mountain Iron-Buhl Rangers to a second straight unbeaten regular season and another berth in the Minnesota state playoffs.
Tuesday night, Niskanen likely will be wearing a black-and-gold No. 5 and making his NHL debut for the Dallas Stars in Colorado. A long shot to make the team entering training camp, the Mountain Iron native impressed throughout the preseason and looks to have made the team as its seventh defenseman.
Some of you remember Niskanen as the high-scoring defenseman for the Virginia/Mountain Iron-Buhl that led the Blue Devils to their first and only state tournament appearance in 2005. Later that year, I was privileged to be sitting with Niskanen, his parents and friends when he got the call from Dallas that he was their first round pick (28th overall) in the NHL Draft.
Niskanen could have gone to the University of Minnesota where he would have fit in well with the high-scoring Gophers. But loyalty to his high school (the "U" wanted him to skip his senior season and play juniors) led Niskanen to choose to play at UMD, where last season, he fulfilled his promise, being named to the All-WCHA First Team.
Deciding he had learned all he could in his two years at the college level, Niskanen signed his first pro contract last spring and finished the season with the Stars' AHL affiliate in Iowa.
It looks like he made a smart decision. He will be the youngest player on the Dallas roster and one of the youngest in the league. Though he quite possibly won't stick on the Stars' roster the entire season (his minutes there will likely be limited and it'll be better for his development if he gets more playing time in Iowa), it's got to be a great feeling for the 21-year-old.
Niskanen was easily the best interview of any high school athlete I've ever interviewed. Completely humble, he never took any credit for any of his phenomenal success, rather crediting his coaches and teammates for his accomplishments.
Dallas got a high-character kid in drafting Niskanen. They won't be disappointed. I look forward to watching him in an NHL uniform for many years to come.
Goodbye, Torii?
Sunday might have marked the final game for Torii Hunter in a Minnesota Twins uniform.
(Give me a second while I scream.)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, got that out of my system.
Hunter, 32, had a career year for the Twins this past season, batting .287 with 28 homers and 107 RBIs, and almost assuredly will win his seventh consecutive Gold Glove in center field.
He's also a free agent, since the Twins, for lack of trying, failed to lock up the heart-and-soul of their team with an extension, despite his stated desire to remain in Minnesota.
Come on (Twins owner Carl) Pohlad! Loosen the purse strings. I mean, you're only the 114th richest American with some 3.1 BILLION dollars in assets. You can't take it with you! You've already prevailed on the state to pay for most of a brand-new outdoor stadium that will open up in downtown Minneapolis in 2010.
Don't you think the guy who was the centerpiece of three AL Central championship teams in the last five seasons, the guy who helped carry this franchise out of the doldrums, deserves to be rewarded? Don't you think the fans that the last six seasons have packed the sterile, "worst place to watch a baseball game in America" Metrodome deserve to see him play in the new stadium?
If Hunter goes, Johan Santana, the best pitcher in baseball, won't be far behind him. And soon the Twins will be back in the quagmire that they wallowed in through most of the 1990s.
But oh, the fans will come in droves because the new stadium will open! Puh-lease. That's disgraceful.
If Torii goes, it's a knife in the back of a lot of loyal Twins fans.
Open the pocketbook.
I know I won't forgive you if you don't.
Yo, Adrian!
Q: How do you stop (Vikings' rookie running back) Adrian Peterson?
A: Put him on a team coached by Major Dad (Minnesota head coach Brad Childress).
Peterson, the explosive rookie running back from Oklahoma, touched the ball just 16 times Sunday's seven-point loss to arch-rival Green Bay. He rushed for 112 yards on just 12 carries, including a 55-yard second-quarter burst up the middle. Other than that, the only times he touched the ball were on three kick returns and one catch.
And for the second week in a row, with the game on the line, and the Vikings with a chance to drive to tie or win the game, Peterson was on the bench.
WTF?
This is exactly why I felt the Vikings let the wrong guy go this offseason, allowing defensive coordinator Mike Tomlin to go to Pittsburgh, where as the youngest head coach in the league, he has the Steelers off to a 3-1 start.
Childress was brutal last year, and he's shown no signs of improvement this season.
Yo, you might wanna get Adrian the ball a few more times. It might be the only way to save your job.
On second thought, screw it. Don't give him the ball. Then maybe we'll get a real had coach next year.
Random thoughts
Anybody see LeBron James hosting the season premiere of SNL Saturday? The man is not only one of the three best players in the NBA, he's also a comedic genius. Check out this clip http://youtube.com/watch?v=7rkosq9Nh2o.
Best new show this season – and trust me, I've had a lot of time to watch TV for the first time in years – well, it's a toss-up between Cane (Tuesday's at 9)
and Dirty Sexy Money (Wednedays at 9). Cavemen premieres Tuesday at 7 p.m. Gonna have to check that out. Also, worth watching: The Unit (Tuesdays at 8), Chuck (Mondays at 7) and Friday Night Lights (Fridays at 8).
Until next time…
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