Never trust a stripper (written 10/12/07)

Random thoughts

 

Go Wild!

The Minnesota Wild are 3-0 and seriously overlooked and underrated in the NHL community. Gabby & Co. haven't even gone off yet, but it hasn't mattered because Niklas Backstrom just might be the best goaltender in the NHL right now. Steady, technically-sound, unflappable. The stoic Finn is as close to a sure thing as there is between the pipes in the NHL right now. We'll get a better picture of where the Wild are at after their upcoming four-game road trip. If nothing else, they are the only pro team in Minnesota worth getting excited over.

 

Never get engaged to a stripper

Check out Mechele Linehan. Seems like a prize catch. A decade ago, when she was dancing for the Great Alaska Bush Co. (almost as good a name for a strip club as Tuna's), she was SO HOT, that she didn't even have to dance. Men would pay her just to talk to her. Seems she's on trial now for a plot emulating The Last Seduction, a thriller in which the femme fatale sweet-talks her sweetie into killing her husband for her and gets off scot-free in the end. In this case, Linehan convinced a guy to kill her fiancé for his $1 million life insurance policy 10 years ago. Only problem for her was the guy must have caught one or two of her death glares and switched the policy to his parents just days before he was lured to a desolate place and shot to death. Quite the story. Read more about it here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21230656/?GT1=10450. And the lesson as usual, NEVER trust a stripper!

 

Moss or T.O.?

I don't even see an argument here. T.O. posted a note in his locker for reporters this week that he didn't want to talk about "the other 81" (Moss) and wouldn't speak until reporters until after Sunday's showdown between the Patriots and the Cowboys. Could it be that T.O. is still choking just like he did all Monday night in that improbable win over the Bills? Who had three drops in the game, two of them in the absolutely crucial final minute? Hmmm. Let's see. T.O. dropped the game-tying two-point conversion pass. T.O. dropped a 22-yard pass in the final seconds that would have set up Dallas to kick the game-tying field goal from much closer than they had to two plays later. T.O. better be doing something major for rookie kicker Nick Folk for saving his rear end. Do you think Moss would have dropped either of those two balls? Let's see. Moss has been thrown to 38 times by Tom Brady this season. Thirty-four of those times, Moss recorded the reception. Not a single one was a drop. And that's all I have to say about that right now. We'll see which 81 steals the show on Sunday.

 

Picks Fix

I went 7-7 last week in my first time ever picking against the spread. Here's shooting for 7-6 this week!

 

Baltimore -9 ½ over St. Louis

The battered Rams will be picked to the bone by a Raven-ous defense.

 

Washington +3 ½ over Green Bay

The much-improved defense of the Redskins will be after Brett Favre's scalp because of the nonexistent Pack run attack.

 

Tennessee +2 ½ over Tampa Bay

Too many injuries for the Bucs to overcome in their clash with the Titans.

 

Cincinnati -3 ½ over Kansas City

Last chance for the offensively-talented, defensively-challenged Bengals to stay in the playoff hunt in a shootout at the Arrowhead.

 

N.Y. Jets +2 ½ over Philadelphia

Seeing green in an ugly matchup between two disappointing teams at the Meadowlands

 

Jacksonville -6 ½ over Houston

The Jaguars (swept in two of the last three seasons by Houston) get it figured out against the still short-handed Texans.

 

Minnesota +5 ½ over Chicago

The Bears might have saved their season with a big win over the Packers Sunday night, but the Vikings defense will give them all they can handle.

 

Miami +4 ½ over Cleveland

A game I would pay not to see. The Browns keep the Dolphins winless with a late field goal.

 

Arizona -4 ½ over Carolina

Normally, I'd never bet on the Cardinals and never, ever take them on my Last Man Standing board, but that's what I'm going to do this week, mainly because 43-year-old Vinny Testaverde will likely be taking snaps for the Panthers this week.

 

Oakland +10 ½ over San Diego

Everyone's gaga over the Chargers after their spanking of the Broncos (who are two plays away from being 0-5 this season.) I'm not. Daunte and the Raiders make this a game.

 

New England -4 ½ over Dallas

The Patriots are hands-down, the most complete NFL team I've seen in my lifetime. I don't think 16-0 is too big a stretch at this point. (At this point, I should also point out that I'm an idiot.)

 

Seattle -6 ½ over New Orleans

I keep waiting for the Saints to wake up. Still waiting after this week after Alexander and the Seahawks run 'em over.

 

N.Y. Giants -3 ½ over Atlanta

Looks like the Giants have put it all together after a miserable start. The Falcons? Not so much.

 

And that's all I got to say about that.

 

Until next time…