Eerie predictation

I would just like to point out that I had a pretty decent weekend predicting the NFL Divisional Playoffs.

Prediction: Green Bay 24, Seattle 20.

Actual: Green Bay 42, Seattle 20.

Analysis: This one's easy. My dyslexia got the better of me. Would have been fun to play in that though. Always fun in the snow.

 

Prediction: New England 31, Jacksonville 28.

Actual: New England 31, Jacksonville 20.

Analysis: I overcompensated for my irrational fear of the Jags. I have no qualms now. It's gonna be 19-0.

 

Prediction: San Diego 27, Indianapolis 24.

Actual: San Diego 28, Indianapolis 24.

Analysis: I almost nailed this one outright. But if you would have told me the Colts were going to lose with LT on the sidelines and Billy Volek at QB for the Bolts and with the officials in their pocket, I'd have laughed in your face.

 

Prediction: Dallas 34, New York 23.

Actual: New York 21, Dallas 17.

Analysis: I had an eerie feeling about this one. But I wanted the Cowboys to win (they're way more interesting than the Giants, and I you gotta love Minnesota's own Marion Barber III), and they had their chances. And if you think Jessica Simpson had anything to do with the loss, you, my friend are an idiot!

 

All-in-all, it was a great weekend of football. I'm not even going to discuss Tom Brady's unfathomable 26-for-28 dissection of the Jags, because I might start drooling.

Oops. Too late…

The marrying kind of twins and have you seen Candice?

And I thought stuff like this only happened in West Virginia

(I can say that because I was born there.)

Check out this story about a set of British twins who were separated at birth and adopted by different parents. They met later in life, felt an inevitable attraction and were wed.

All I can say is: Wow, what are the odds?

Woot, woot!

This is my new favorite web site. The sell just one product a day until it is sold out. No more, no less. And the prices are dirt-cheap. Ingenius, I tell you. Make sure you check out their t-shirt design site as well. Clever, very clever.

Wherefore art thou, Nico?

Catch up with Nico Sacchetti, the erstwhile Virginia/MI-B hockey star who was drafted in the second round by the Dallas Stars last summer. Sacchetti is skating with the Omaha Lancers this season and next year will don a University of Minnesota sweater.

Have you seen my wife?

So I was bored last night and made up a t-shirt commemorating my search for my long-lost wife. If you're interested in buying one (haha), e-mail me. I need at least five other buyers (you have to order them by at least the half-dozen).

Obviously, I have too much time on my hands.

Fear the Jaguars

I must say I'm a little nervous about the Patriots-Jaguars game at the Big Razor (Gillette Stadium) in Foxboro Saturday night.

Because if there's a game the Patriots have a chance to lose this glorious season, it's against the Jags.

I said this four weeks ago. If there is a team out there that matches up well with New England, it's Jacksonville. If there's a team that could spoil history, it's the Jaguars.

Here's why:

1. Underrated and Hyphenated. Yes, Fred Taylor and Maurice Jones-Drew. Jacksonville's one-two punch at running back. Taylor is the most overlooked star of his generation. Despite the fact that he is 17^th all-time in yards rushing with over 10,000 in his career, Taylor never has been voted onto the Pro Bowl team (the only player in the top 49 rushing all-time never to make it). And Jones-Drew, the "Pocket Rocket", is a threat to bust open a big play any time, just as he did last week against Pittsburgh in the Jaguars' wild 31-29 victory. New England's fourth-ranked run defense will be sorely tested by this duo.
   
2. Lack of respect. The Patriots boast eight Pro Bowlers. Jacksonville, despite going 11-5 in the toughest division in football, the AFC South, has none. (OK, one, after Taylor was added to the roster as an injury replacement.) Coach Jack Del Rio might mention that to his team before the game. They might be fired up.
   
3. Mistake-free football. Jacksonville quarterback David Garrard threw just three interceptions all season. The Jaguars protect the ball. They don't beat themselves.
   
4. Mike Tice. If any coach in the league knows Randy Moss, it's Tice, who coached him for years in Minnesota. Tice just might have a few suggestions on how to slow down the Freak.
   
5. An inevitable letdown. It might be very slight, but there's just got to be a little slippage with the Patriots after completing a 16-0 (whew!) season. I just don't see a letdown happening after this week (in the AFC Championship or the Super Bowl).
   
6. Nothing to lose. The Jaguars can be the team to cost the Patriots their legacy as "the greatest team ever" which they will be considered should they hoist the Lombardi Trophy at 19-0.
   

Now I'm not saying the Patriots are going to lose. It's just the first game all season I've been a little nervous about. In the end though, Tom Brady's coolness under fire keeps the Patriots perfect.

New England 31, Jacksonville 28

On to the other games:

LaDainian Tomlinson runs wild. Peyton Manning throws a crucial interception late.

San Diego 27, Indianapolis 24

T.O. ain't healthy. It doesn't matter. Tony Romo outplays Eli Manning.

Dallas 34, New York 23

Brett Favre and Matt Hasselback will be slinging. The old fella survives.

Green Bay 24, Seattle 20

But as past experience shows, don't listen to me. Just watch the games.

Fallen angels and silver linings: Sizing up 2007

Finally. The holidays are over. Life returns to quasi-normal. I have recovered from temporary insanity. (At least I hope it was temporary.)

2007 was not a good year in sports in this guy's household. Or maybe it was. I haven't decided yet. Well let's figure this out.

We'll go with the bad news first.

The Fallen Angels: (Not that any of these were previously uplifted angels. It's the name of my blog. Work with me people.)

• Mike Vick. He electrocuted and hung dogs. I have two dogs, KG and MJ, whom I love very much. Let's just say I don't approve. I only wish my level of revulsion was higher.
  
• Torii Hunter. OK, he's not fallen, but he is now an Angel.
  
• Marion Jones. Such a beautiful, charismatic girl. Such a phenomenal athlete. I so wanted to believe that those five golds in Sydney were legit.
  
• Roger Clemens.
  I so don't believe your denials. There's plausible deniability. This ain't it.
  
• Tim Brewster.
  He came in talking about bringing Gopher Nation to Pasadena. That Rose Bowl turf he brought in as a reminder of that goal sure withered fast during the worst season in Gopher football history. 1-11? Seriously? 1-11!
  
• Brad Childress.
  As I recall, Mike Tice, who was undercut by a tightfisted owner with both his roster and his coaching staff, went 9-7 two years ago and won a playoff game at Lambeau Field the year before that. Congratulations, Major Dad. With a major upgrade on defense and the best rookie running back since, oh, Eric Dickerson, you guided the Vikings to a level of competence and mediocrity a notch below your hamstrung predecessor.
  
• Kevin McHale.
  Well, at least he didn't give away KG. He got 20 cents on the dollar!
  
• Carl Pohlad. Can't blame him for not spending any more money on payroll. He's not getting a brand-new, state-of-the-art, taxpayer-funded ballpark in 2010.
  
• Barry Bonds*.
  
• Floyd Landis. I really wanna believe you Floyd. And it's not just because I'm predisposed to distrust the French.
  
• Tim Donaghy. As if enough people didn't already think the NBA was fixed. A ref betting on the games is great for the integrity of the game. (Meeting in the Commish's office, circa 1995. "Hmm, we got the Pacers and the Knicks in the Eastern Conference Finals. Well, boys, you know what to do. … If I can make it there, I can make it anywhere. New York, New York!) Not that I'm bitter or anything.
  
• The BCS. Who out there wouldn't have liked to see Georgia or USC (the two hottest teams in the country right now) have a shot at the title? Nah, a playoff system won't work! My only consolation is if I live to see 80 (and I won't), there's a 1.5-percent chance that I'll see a college football playoff in my lifetime.
  
• Brad May. That blindside sucker punch of mild-mannered Swede Kim Johnsson in last year's Stanley Cup playoffs was unconscionable. I hope you have nightmares of the Boogeyman, because he's coming to get you, you thug.
  

The Silver Linings:

• Matt Niskanen. It's been a long time since a Ranger made it big time. It's been fun to watch a kid I covered extensively in hockey, football and baseball, succeed at the highest level. And he's a good kid, too. All the better. Looking forward to watching him play the Wild tonight.
  
• Randy Moss and Tom Brady. My favorite hook-up since Brangelina. (Just kidding.) But goodness are they, as my buddy J.J. would say, "Fun to watch!" You couldn't have scripted it any better Saturday. Trailing 28-23 to the Giants with their perfect season on the line, Brady unloads a bomb to a streaking Moss for a 65-yard touchdown. Not only does the play lead to a 16-0 record, but also the TD pass is Brady's 50^th and the TD catch is Moss' 23^rd of the season, both NFL records. I just got goose bumps on my goose bumps.
  
• Adrian Peterson. All Day.
  
• Kevin Garnett.
  As much as it hurt to see him go, KG's finally found his happy place. The Celtics are 27-3! Good gracious. Here's to KG hoisting a championship trophy at the end of this season. Da Franchise deserves it.
  
• Marion Gaborik. Five goals in a game. What a talent. Now if he can just stay healthy…
  
• Reggie Miller. As much as I would have loved to see you come back and play the Smiling Assassin off the bench and win a ring with KG, you'll always be a Pacer. I guess I can live with that. (Then again, why didn't you come back? Whyyyyy?)
  
• The Ohio State University. This inclusion is just for my buddy Super Dave. Then again, reaching the national championship game in a rebuilding year is nothing to sniff at. Especially after Florida smoked 'em in last year's title game. (Sorry, Dave. Couldn't resist.)
  
• Marion Barber III. He's 1B to Laurence Maroney's 1A as my favorite Gopher of all time. Most ferocious running back in the NFL.
  
• Virginia golf and BEST baseball. The Devils ran away with the state championship in boys' golf while Casey Hill won an individual crown. And my alma mater (Babbitt-Embarrass) made me proud with a state trip of their own.
  
• Virginia basketball. The boys and girls are a combined 18-0 this season. Must be that Blue Pride. Or something in the water.
  

I'm sure I'm forgetting a fallen angel here and a silver lining there, but then again 2007 wasn't exactly my bread-and-butter year. All in all, I think it comes out a wash. Well, better than a wash since I am the quintessential eternal optimist.

I always look for the silver lining. Cuz I'm Mr. Brightside.

Juiced? Roger that

So. Did ya catch the Mitchell Report yesterday?

If you didn't or don't know what it is, perhaps it's time you crawl out from that rock you've been living under.

The Mitchell Report was the culmination of months of work by former U.S. Senator George Mitchell and his team of investigators into baseball's steroid culture over the past 20 years. It fingered 86 current and former players in the report, most prominently Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds, Andy Pettitte and Miguel Tejada. Oh yeah, and 20 current and former Yankees. (I told you it was the Evil Empire.) No mention of any current Twins though.

Personally, I'm shocked. Roger Clemens used steroids? I don't believe it! Bonds? That size 8 ½ melon's gotta be all natural.

I really doubt the report even uncovered the tip of the iceberg of how deeply-ingrained the steroid culture has been in the sport. Hopefully, this will spark positive change – rigorous testing program that will eliminate the cheaters from the sport and level the playing field for the honest.

Ethically, the whole mess stinks to high heaven. The dirty laundry has now been aired. Now it's time for change in a positive direction. And Roger, you can deny all you want. Frankly, I don't believe a word you say.

And I'm with Jose Canseco when I say: I can't believe A-Rod wasn't on the list.

Nisky’s new ride

I almost forgot. Happy birthday to Mountain Iron's own Matt Niskanen, who last week celebrated his 21^st birthday. He got quite the surprise when he got home from the Stars' recent six-game road trip. His teammates took his old Pontiac Sunfire, which he's been driving since he was a sophomore in high school, and tricked it out, slapping on some sweet rims, putting in a suede leather interior and giving it a sweet paint job – his nickname Nisky appears on the back of it and his No. 5 on both doors along with some other decals.

Check out this story and accompanying video on the Dallas Stars' web site. The video is an interview with Niskanen after the first period of Dallas' 5-4 win over Edmonton last night, a period in which Nisky scored his second goal of the season on a blistering slap shot from the blue line.

Keep making us proud, Nisky.

Bradyisms and other (half-)truths

"Well done is always better than well said."

And you wonder why I have a man-crush on Tom Brady. Not only is the man: on pace to break every conceivable season passing record under the sun at the helm of the best team I've ever seen, the undefeated New England Patriots; dating a supermodel; dating Randy Moss (OK, maybe not dating, just a very intimate relationship); now he's quoting Ben Franklin (see above quote). That quote came after young Pittsburgh safety Anthony Smith brashly guaranteed a Steelers' victory over the Patriots prior to their clash Sunday at Foxboro. Brady's line Sunday was such: 399 yards, four TDs, 0 INTs, three toastings of the aforementioned Smith in an easy 34-13 thrashing that improved New England's record to 13-0.

Brady is so good and making it look so easy that one writer on ESPN.com asked readers to come up with Bradyisms. (Example: Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.)

Here's my favorite reader submission:

• Superman wears Tom Brady pajamas.
  

Other good ones include:

• Tom Brady doesn't pursue perfection. Perfection pursues Tom Brady.
  
• Tom Brady beats paper, rock AND scissors.
  
• Tom Brady does not wait 20 minutes after eating to go swimming.
  
• Tom Brady counted to infinity. Twice.
  

Here are a few of my own:

• Chuck Norris fears no man. Except Tom Brady.
  
• Tom Brady blinks just to fit in.
  
• Tom Brady can win a game of Connect Four. In three moves.
  
• The Boogeyman checks his closet for Tom Brady before going to sleep at night.
  
• Tom Brady is so cool, ice checks in with him regularly for advice.
  

OK. Enough of that. Do you think anyone else this season will be stupid enough to guarantee a win against the Patriots. Hmmm. I wouldn't recommend it. Because Tom Brady doesn't breathe. He takes air hostage.

Better late than never

After the Vikings' 34-0 embarrassment at Lambeau Field a month ago, even I, the quintessential eternal optimist, wrote them off. (OK, OK. I had ulterior motives. I wanted them to finish horribly because I can't stand Brad Childress. I wanted him fired.)

It is as if someone is pulling off my fingernails one by one, but I'll very grudgingly acquiesce to Childress some credit. He believed in Tavaris Jackson, and T-Jack has looked like an extremely competent quarterback the past four weeks. (In fact, T-Jack is 7-2 as a starter this season. The Vikings are 0-4 when he does not start.) Now I believed T-Jack would be a solid NFL QB, too. Just not this soon. But four games does not a season make. It remains to be seen how Jackson will perform in the playoffs (either at Tampa or Seattle).

And yes, the Vikings will make the playoffs. If you would have told me a month ago that Adrian Peterson would rush for two yards on 14 carries against the 49ers, and the Vikings would still win by 20 points, I probably would have had you committed to the loony bin. But a new aggressive approach on defense, a solidified offensive line and the play of Jackson as the triggerman have turned the Vikings into a well-rounded team.

Even a scary team, if you will. AD gives them that dimension, that six-points-in-a-blink-of-an-eye capability. As, to a lesser extent, do Sidney Rice and Chester Taylor. And their remaining schedule appears pretty tame: hosting reeling Chicago and shorthanded Washington and traveling to play a likely out-of-the-playoff-picture Denver team in the season finale.

Sports Illustrated's Peter King is convinced that the Vikings pose a legitimate threat to even Dallas' and Green Bay's quest for the NFC crown and has the Vikings ranked No. 7 in his weekly power rankings.

Not to get too overboard, but the Vikings are well-suited for a playoff run. They have a two-headed, dominating running game that includes the most explosive back in the game, an overpowering offensive line, a confident young quarterback playing mistake-free football and an aggressive, run-stopping, ball-hawking defense.

Don't look now, but the Purple are coming.

Random thoughts

I already like new Twins' GM Bill Smith. He refused to cave in to pressure from Hank Steinbrenner and the New York Yankees to pull the trigger on the Johan Santana deal. He pulled off a great deal to get Delmon Young, a very young, potential MVP-caliber outfielder with some pop in his bat. And I have no doubt he will get maximum value for Santana when he finally makes a deal.

Perhaps Wild goaltender Niklas Backstrom is human after all. He and the Wild have struggled after that blistering start to the season.

Tubby Smith has the Gophers off to a great start. They're hustling for 40 minutes, playing great team basketball on both offense and defense and are as good off the bench as starting. Hustle. Defense. Team ball. Words you rarely if ever heard during the Dan Monson era. And Blake Hoffarber is my new favorite player in town. Remember this unbelievable, ESPY-winning shot he made in the Class 4A championship game two years ago?

The Timberwolves have a solid young nucleus of developing players. That the development might not make much of a difference in the win column for two-three more years is another story. Even Marko Jaric is having a renaissance. Then again, maybe that's just because he's dating supermodel Adriana Lima.

George Mitchell's steroid report is due out tomorrow afternoon. How many of your favorite players will turn up tainted?

Mike Vick got 23 months in prison for his role in that dogfighting ring. Word is, he could have gotten just 12-to-18 months if he had taken responsibility for his actions. I DON'T wanna be like Mike.

Memo: Kevin Garnett and the Celtics are good. REALLY good.

I've been trying to avoid this subject because it always makes me giggle incessantly for about 10 minutes and then people look at me as if I'm strange. (No comments from the peanut gallery!) Do you realize the Patriots…(guffaw)…traded a…(giggle)…fourth…(hehehe)…round…(hahahahaha)…pick…(gasp)…for…(hohohohoho)…Ran…(gasp)…dy…(hahahahahahahahahaha)…Moss?....(hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe…gasp…gasp…gasp.)

Whew. I was laughing so hard, I think I popped a screw in my hip loose. And my mascara is running. Waaait a minute. I don't wear mascara…

Until next time…